Have you ever noticed that some relationships help us heal, while others leave us feeling drained, even if everything looks fine on the outside?
Sometimes, even a skilled professional with many techniques can’t truly reach someone’s heart. Maybe the answer isn’t just in psychology books, but also in the old Korean wisdom about the heart.
Modern psychotherapy has made significant progress. There are many tools, like cognitive-behavioral therapy, mindfulness, emotion-focused therapy, positive psychotherapy, and psychoanalysis. Still, something important is often missed: the real emotional connection between people, the invisible bond that links our hearts. This is where the idea of simjeong becomes clear.
심정 心情 [simjeong]: 心 [sim] means heart or soul, and 情 [jeong] means feeling, sincerity, or humanity. While it literally means “the feeling of the heart,” simjeong is more than just a simple emotion. It is a steady, deep sense of sincerity that grows between people when they are truly open with each other. This is what makes relationships real and meaningful.
Imagine two trees growing next to each other. We see them as separate, each with its own trunk and branches. But underground, their roots are connected, sharing water and nutrients through a hidden network. Shimjeong works the same way in our relationships. When we pull away and focus only on ourselves, the connection fades. Even if things look good on the surface, we might feel empty inside. Our hearts need closeness, not just achievements, to feel full.
This is where different views on mental health stand out. In Western traditions, there is a strong focus on a person’s inner world—their thoughts, actions, and effectiveness. This matters, but it isn’t everything. People are not alone; we are all part of a web of relationships.
In Eastern cultures such as Korean, Japanese, and Chinese, the idea of the “self” differs. Here, each person is closely tied to their community. Emotional well-being can’t exist without others. This isn’t a sign of weakness, but a deep understanding of people: we find ourselves through our connections.
This is especially clear when working with others. The deepest healing comes not just from understanding or analyzing, but from real connection. When someone can honestly say, “I see you. I feel you,” and truly mean it, that’s when simjeong appears. It’s a way of truly being with others.
But we also face an inner challenge. In Korean tradition, this is called the selfish side of human nature—the voice inside that says, “What’s mine matters more than what’s ours.” This isn’t always bad; it’s often just a habit or a way to protect ourselves. Still, it often weakens our bonds with others.
When we focus on “we” in a relationship, harmony grows. When “mine” takes over, distance appears. This isn’t just about things, but also about how we share our attention, time, and care. When our connection fades, our hearts can feel cold.
In many Asian cultures, people often show their inner pain through physical symptoms like tiredness, headaches, or tension instead of words. This doesn’t mean they lack feelings. Sometimes, the emotions are so deep that words just aren’t enough.
This is something Ukrainians understand, too. Our culture is also very communal. We value human connection, helping each other, and a strong sense of “we.”
When someone says, “My heart aches for you,” these words already show what we call shimjeong. We often understand this feeling, even if we don’t have a special word for it.
So what does this mean for us? Maybe it shows that emotional well-being isn’t just about feeling good inside. Most of all, it depends on the quality of our relationships. It’s about being honest and open, and choosing “we” even when it’s hard.
When we do this, we don’t lose ourselves. In fact, we discover ourselves more deeply. Like a tree that grows stronger with others nearby, people thrive through connection.
Shimjeong encourages us to move from “I” to “we.” It’s not about losing ourselves, but about opening up through real closeness. Maybe this is one of the most important answers to what makes us truly well.
